A Month Without Bacon

Random smatterings of my life, mostly dealing with food, athletics, and the lack of fucks that invade my life.

New School, Who dis?

I’ve been busy because I got a new position at UB: Assistant to the Chair in the Department of Physiology and Biophysics in the new Medical School downtown. Yes, I am leaving CAS and starting downtown next Monday. It has been a long, miserable 6 months, and a long, anxious process to get hired, but it is now officially official as fuck.


Less student bull shit, fewer presumptive, rude, ego driven idiot artists, and more adult like things in my job description. A raise, not the greatest but back to what I was pre move to Buffalo. Slow but at least moving in the right direction.

Maybe now my anxiety will drop a bit…hmmmmm


I mean those kinds of peeps are all over but…this place had em IN SPADES everyday. Overworked, underpaid, 50 hrs a week (average) without overtime. no more MONDAYS HERE ANYMORE HAHAHAHAHAHA! Each day will provide a new thing to celebrate hehehehehehehehe….


Week of insanity

So..gonna hit 4 days again…and due to a crazy week keto went to shit. I’m still into it though, I just hate being a bother when my friends and I make dinner and eat as a group. Eh, i’ll be fine.


I mean for real though, keto is for my hunger management more than anything else. If I end up growing old AF, I’ll still lift but…everything in moderation!

You see me lifting, and drinking, and not giving a fuck

Grumpus Maximus

Gym was ok today, missed yesterday. Why you ask? The short version is that I recently changed my birth control because I was starting to get almost scheduled migraines. This new type has made those almost disappear in under three months. DOWNSIDE: Oh I was only on my last type of pill to manage ovarian cysts… and now guess who has a throbbing, dull, semi nausea inducing pain inside her left hip bone that has been growing for three days?


 I can’t make this shit up, I swear


All aboard the struggle bus: Strap in, this week is going to be a mother fucking bumpy ride…….

Lack of Snark

Each time I come back to writing this blog, I review my old posts. I check the dates and think about why I stopped writing, what was happening in my life. In the last few days, I feel like my creative bitching and snark has declined. If you check my humor from day 1 until now, yes it has varied, but in the most recent posts that fire is just gone.

I refuse to accept that I am growing more boring…I can be really funny. I enjoy being funny, especially a funny, sarcastic, nihilistic, self deprecating ass hole.  A second factor may be my lack of creative images/gifs. If you don’t actively search and or save funny things you happen to come upon, your repertoire and writing inspiration can get stale. Sometimes you know EXACTLY how you want to use an image, other times you see the image and go I KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT.

This is not imgur so I’m not going to random meme dump shit I haven’t used…but god some days it is TEMPTING…I find some funny shit….because I am a repeat gold medalist in the “terrible” Olympics….but at least i’ll intelligently share my humor!

I am at peace with this possibility




I’m back at my regular lifting cycle, after the mandatory rest/retest week. Overall, it is going well. I’m even committing to at least 20 minutes of cardio after lifting everyday. I have a long way to go….I am better on keto this week, each week gets easier.

One set back…is well my back. After leg day on Monday, I took Tuesday off (didn’t sleep well the night before). Tuesday night, my lower back was starting to bother me. At particular angles of bending it was growing more and more painful. Like throwing my head over to put mouse in, HARD NO. By the time my alarm went off Wednesday at 5 pm, trying to get out of bed caused me to audibly wail. So. Awful. Still went to the gym, but god it was terrible. Even into today, I am still not right.

This happened about two months ago, prior to my work trip to Costa Rica (and made the easy flights down there miserable). I thought it was because I lifted back the day before I left, and obviously tweaked something. Compared to now, it is the SAME pain. It isn’t my back that is screwed up, it is my LEGS. My hip flexors/hamstrings are SO tight (not sore or DOMS), that is pulling that hard on my lower back to cause this. That week before my trip, legs and back happened, so it makes sense. I just assumed back issue was because of back day. Unreal!  So yes, I’m saying back pain is caused by my legs getting shitty with me.


On a scale of 0 to Varus being a dick…I’m about to watch Rome get vandalized…

Fuck it, still lifting…..but with more stretching….hopefully I’ll be murdered by Praetorian sometime before the weekend is over!





Keeping Honest (AGAIN)

Started week 7, two weeks of switching phase for smolov. Really tired this week, like epic proportions, even though I am sleeping through the night and THROUGH my alarm (which is unheard of for me).

So I’m off the start on early  Monday, especially since today i skipped. I do hate using Saturdays to lift, but right now, if it makes me do all the workouts, I do not care.

The hardest part, is back on keto. Cheated on Friday when I went GLAMPING with friends (hahahahaaaahaha, MY FACE……my chair..), so I have been good since then, but need to stop making excuses (cheating on weekends is ok, etc).  So for three days I have been good, I need to keep it going….

yas queen.jpg

Looking like this won’t come from CHEATING

Wk 6 – retesting 1 rm

Oh hai again. At the end of pudge week, it was time to retest my 1 rep max. Now, all the workouts are calibrated by what your one rep max is, and at wk 6 it is retest in order to re-calibrate the program for the final 10 weeks. So…previous 1 rm on 4/30/18 was 175. Weeks 1-5 were based on this. As of today…


New 1 rm on 7/20/18: 185.


I am happy with it. I always go conservative with testing because yes I have the ability it get out from under the bar, but I have no spotter. No need to be stupid and get hurt because I’m being a hubris ridden douche. So in another 10 weeks, we’ll see if I finally get to meet Satan and add some more poundage and get closer to where I was 2 yrs ago…best 1rm of my life….



GUH rest week…more like pudgy week

According to smolov, wk 6 is REST until 1 rm testing the last two days of the week. Due to my schedule, I am doing it one day (which whatever). The real issue has been doing NOTHING all week as I attempt to phase back into keto. My three day headache has sucked so baaaaaad. I think it is finally better…after a mug of coffee and two excedrin migraine.

A week off won’t kill me, it just makes me feel like a beached whale. A show hog, like the ones my niece shows at fair, a walrus, if you will….not that I do a TON of cardio but for fuck sakes at least I do something, unlike this entire week.

Week 6 (switch phase) cannot come fast enough….

The paps caught me in my own backyard pool..damn

Current Feels

As I stare at the dead ass metaphorical lawn that is my life

Week 5 completed, I still have no self control

Oh hai…so better late than never, I completed wk 5, but 2 days BEHIND schedule. Thankfully, wk 6 is rest plus retesting 1 rm, so I could shove it all together a bit.

The bigger issue, as always ad nauseum, is my goddamn eating.  I was getting back on  keto, then came the weekend, and non standard eating hours/snacking/content. I’m hopeless and when I’m hungry my fucks kinda just shrug.

GUHHHHH fuck it